2005 and 2006. Don't know why I didn't do one for last year?

I'm freaking sad that these are sold out on Revolve. The shape is great, the heel is towering, and the detailing is gorgeous. Somebody find them for me, please. Size 5.5 or 6 thanks.

One photo from Saturday night. So awesomely tacky but awesomely awesome at the same time.

Am home after a night of too much eating and a whole lot of beer drinking...most of which was done by myself :P It was board game/football night for the boys (VV's friends) so I tagged along and ate all of their goodies and drank the Dos Equis we'd brought with us. VV took me home early since not too much was going on. He went back to finish up an ongoing game of Battlestar Galactica (which is a show that I keep hearing is madd awesome) and should be back at midnight or so?

Went to Tokyo Delve last night with eight others. We drank lots of sake bombs (well, I only had 1/2 of one plus some beer since I was DD), danced on our chairs, ate sushi that ranged from mediocre to terrible (do not order the pyramid "roll") and impulsively told our server that it was Steve's birthday (which is in December, so it was only a half-lie). Walked down to Skinny's afterward to dance the night away. It was lots of fun, especially since it's been a while since I've hung out with a lot of the people who went. And because Steve was incredibly drunk and gave some random girl a lapdance. And because Huntz somehow managed to get four drink tickets from the DJ (wha?) which meant free vodka tonics for all who wanted them.

Playing with post-processing again. I took these photos not too long before heading out last night. I really really want to take photos outdoors but am too shy to risk having people see me running back and forth between my location and my tripod whilst photographing myself. I wish VV had a yard or something.

I think Christmas turned out okay. On the 24th I went with VV to his family gathering where I ended up getting somewhat inebriated (I swear his uncle was trying to get me drunk! Even VV's brother said so!) but I think I behaved myself pretty well considering. Got home pretty late and had to make mashed potatoes for my family gathering. They turned out kind of...questionably. I kept finding bits of raw potato when I was mashing them. I blame it on my tiredness. It was 1:30 or 2am when I got started on them...and I'd been up since 8 or so since I had to work that morning.

Woke up early so we could make it to my parents' place for breakfast on xmas morning. Ate lots, opened presents. Kept falling asleep at random intervals during the day. Got home past midnight and promptly passed out.

Am going to Tokyo Delve tonight! I'm the DD, so no insane sake-bombing for me :) Looking forward to a good two hours of dancing on my chair and taking pictures and eating bad sushi. It will be awesome (I hope).

Hope everyone had an awesome xmas and THANK FREAKING GOODNESS THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!!

Look closely at the photo. After playing with it in Photoshop I discovered a second rainbow (very faint, left side).

"You got an expensive package from the United Kingdom." said VV as he entered the bedroom.

"I did?" I looked over at him and his hands were empty "How do you know?"

"Because it said so."

"On what? The infonotice?"

"Just go downstairs and look."

I raced down the stairs where I found a large gray plastic package sitting on the dining room table. My Topshop order had arrived! I grabbed it and raced back up the stairs to the bedroom where I tore the plastic open and pulled out the first item: the purple Milly Frill coat. I laid it out on the bed and eyed it skeptically. It looked just as good as it did on the website, but at the same time it looked awfully...small. I nervously undid the buttons and slipped it on, fearing that it would be too tight on me. As it turns out, it was perfect. Maybe I'm just too used to looking at clothes that are too big for me :P The bodice fit just right and the sleeves were (miraculously!) the correct length. There were two other jackets in the package and those fit beautifully as well. I might just have to make Topshop my go-to for all of my outerwear purchases.

The jacket in these photos is the petite Moleskin jacket, which is currently a infuriating $20 cheaper than than it was when I bought it. Oh well. I actually only really like the first photo, the second one I posted just to show off the jacket ;)

So, merry xmas eve everyone (and a happy birthday to Hollie :))! You know what xmas eve means? All of this holiday crap (and related stress) is almost over! Yay! I'm such a grinch, heh. It's just that these days the holidays seem to cause me more stress than anything else...plus they run me broke :P

Am going over to VV's cousin's house for their family Christmas thing. He's coming over to my parents' place tomorrow. I'm going to be a thousand pounds by the end of the week.

Here's another one of those silly composite photos I've been making. This one was slightly more involved. Not sure if I like it yet.

Goo goo goo and ta ta.

...says the girl hiding behind gigantic aviators...haha. Those sunglasses were purchased for Sunday's dress-up, but I might end up wearing them on a regular basis because I like the coverage they give me and my eye-baggage.

Most of the photos I took on Sunday were super-awesome...but only after some post-processing. The above photo is pretty much unadulterated though, save a resizing and my url in the corner. The lighting situation at the time was kind of a weird mix of incandescent with a trace of natural light that was coming through the blinds which I'm fairly certain confused my camera, but I like the washed out effect of the photo.

Next photo is one of jillions of photos I took with that mirror. Looks better in black and white because all the junk in the background gets too distracting in color. Also had to readjust contrast/brightness in Photoshop since I was a dumbass and didn't base my camera settings on what was being reflected in the mirror ;P I think the final result is pretty col though, so it's all good.

Not good enough of a photographer yet to get away with un-post-processed photos I guess :) Sometimes I get lucky, though!

To my own credit, though, self-portraits with a self-timer are omega difficult. I need a new model. Makes me wish I had a sister or something.

The photos below were so-so in their original form, but they came out pretty awesome after working on them for a minute or so. The one on the left makes me look horrible (there's that eye-baggage again) but the shadows and contrast came out so wonderfully that I had to post it. I went the complete opposite direction with the one on the right, choosing to over-brighten and over-saturate it.

I'm actually really loving how tore-up that balcony is, now, even though it's a total eyesore. Makes me hope that my parents never fix it up the way they keep saying they're going to.

Ah yes, that Lady GaGa song with the lyrics that speak to my soul and dredge up memories (sort of) of many crazy nights partying and clubbing in Hollywood, Vegas, San Francisco, Orange County, etc. I think it was all very controlled/responsible craziness, though. There was always at least one person sober enough (and sometimes that person was me!) to keep an eye on everyone and drive everyone home. I don't club/party/drink nearly as much now--don't have the energy for it!--but I think it was good while it lasted :)

This particular photoset came out decently. Ended up with a larger than usual number of postable photos. I feel like I look shorter than I usually do, though. Possibly because the umbrella serves as kind of a size reference ;P

Oops...tag on my scarf is showing.

Okay I lied. There's one teensy photo of my face in this post...but it's half-covered and there are three other faces in that same photo so I let it slide. Anyway, enjoy this breather from my self-portraits because there's a whole buttload of them coming up soon!

These are photos from the end of the year thing at church/temple/whatever. The kids did the song "Everyday People" by Sly and the Family Stone. We tried our best to channel the era with our flares and fros.

These girls are seriously so much fun. They're so down for anything, even if it means (actually, especially if it means) making damn fools of themselves. Too awesome.

And just because it's special, a Sprinkles seasonal cupcake. Chocolate peppermint. The frosting was way too sweet.

Heard the song "Never There" by Cake for the first time this morning and I love that horn. Yeah, I'm only 10 years late. VV and I heard the tail end of it on Star on our way to work this morning and I went a little nuts over that solo.

Am still craving sashimi! And Cheetos! Such a fatty.

Photo up there is post-processed like mad. In my defense, I took the photo with the intention of post-processing it like mad. It's just a crappy motion-blurry overexposed photo I took with my p/s.

My allergies are sucking hard right now. Time for yogurt and Zyrtec.

Went to Santora's Hot Wings for some deliciously greasy hot wings and a tasty pizza and caught a movie at the $2 theater (Burn After Reading) post-dinner. It was rainy, miserable and freezing cold. I hate this weather.

I've decided that I want more beanies...and maybe scarves too. I just placed an order at Topshop for some outerwear (heh, so much for the shopping ban ;P) that I hope will help keep me warm this winter.

Yes, I wore the beanie with ears on it (yes that beanie has ears on it I know you can't really see them in the picture) out to dinner. Amazingly, I did not get carded when we ordered our beer!

These came out better. Especially the first one. Don't mind the weird facial expressions/angles/poses. Was desperately trying to avoid highlighting my substantial eye-baggage the way I had here

Someone awesome found my awesome blog by doing an awesome search for "naked vietnamese boys" which is made even more awesome by the fact that my website is on the first page of results.

And here's another random quote from what was probably at least a year ago:

The Korean: It looks like it's going to be a rainy kind of gay.

He just mixes up his words sometimes. I'm not sure how "day" turned into "gay" though.

Made a valiant effort to fix above photos because I really love that top and want to show it off (harrr). I'm not sure what I was going for,though, because everything kinda just looks really...pink.

The Counselor: What day is Christmas this year?
The Korean: (completely serious) I think it's on...the 25th.

VV and the Counselor discussing the camera VV bought his cousin for xmas:

VV: She said that size was important. She wanted something small that didn't weigh too much.
The Counselor: So she wants something small and light that takes pictures?
VV: Yeah, basically.
The Counselor: Sounds like Kelly.

At which point we decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to tie a bow on me and leave me on her doorstep :) I think the Counselor is going to be staying at VV's a few nights a week or so because his current commute sucks butts. He made us (plus the Korean) dinner last night and it was quite delicious. As it turns out, he enjoys cooking. I told him he could mos' def stay as long as he wanted.

• I stand pigeon-toed It's a habit. I'm also pretty sure it's genetic because my mom does the same thing. VV thinks it's the most adorable thing ever and when he catches me with my toes pointed inward he points and yells "YOU STAND LIKE A LITTLE JAPANESE GIRL!!!" to which I respond "I AM A LITTLE JAPANESE GIRL." which is actually probably the exact response he's looking for which I'm sure encourages his behavior even further.

• I laugh loudly and I like other people with loud, genuine laughs. They make me happy!

• I get very specific food cravings I'm sure most of these are well documented on my blog. The thing is, when I get these cravings I have to have that particular food until I'm sick of it or the craving will persist! Past cravings have included fried chicken, popcorn chicken, tomatoes with cottage cheese, tomatoes with mayo and pepper, puffy cheetos, cake, sundubu, etc. My current craving is sashimi, which is kind of weird because I didn't even like sashimi until maybe three years ago or so. I'm looking forward to New Year's food for the first time ever.

• I'm starting to like girls more than guys again As friends of course. I think for a while I really did hang out with more guys than girls, but I'm pretty certain that's only because my major didn't have many girls in it. Good female friends are awesome.

Er, anyway.

Yes, I'm wearing shoes in the house...on the carpet. But these were brand new so it's okay. I was testing out a new pair of serious clompers around the house and noticed the interesting lighting in the bedroom. I set the camera white balance for incandescent lighting, so the majority of the photo would have correct color, but the partially opened shutters gave a bluish cast to the left side of the photo. Yes, the room is kind of messy. I can assure you that it's all me and not VV ;P I did make the bed before leaving the house, though.

edit: wow these bullet points got totally weird. oh well.

I was seriously all ready to do some serious blog and Flickr update-age on Sunday but ended up forgetting my laptop at VV's! I suppose I could have used my mom's desktop, but my allergies struck so violently that I wasn't up for actually sitting at a desk and instead opted to loll around in bed, alternating between eating and sleeping. But not before taking this photo on my parents' very rundown balcony. It was at this point in the photo that I started to notice the abundance of gnats hovering in front of my face and was silently begging my camera to please hurry and take the picture so I could get the hell back inside, away from the bugs.

Oh, and my eye swelled up pretty badly while I was lolling around, probably due to me touching my eyes which I really can't help doing when my allergies make them itch like mad. No, I didn't take pictures, although my mom told me I should so I could "show my doctor" which I guess makes sense, although something tells me her real motive was to take a picture of me looking utterly tragic so she could take it out and laugh at it when the mood strikes.

So yes, uneventful Sunday for the most part. I did get to fulfill my sashimi craving, though, although my stuffy nose made it a bit difficult. I'm afraid I was a wee bit antisocial during lunch since my whole face was kind of miserable.

In other news. The holidays are here. I really hate xmas. The mall crowds, the gift-buying stress, ARGH. To top it all off? It's freaking cold. I'm thinking I"m going to have to give in and buy thick tights or something because I'm not really ready to give up my skirts and dresses.

I kind of have a goal...I want to reach a point where I'm comfortable with my body for the first time in my life since I was in elementary school. So, I sort of diet (nothing too strict because that doesn't work for me) and try and get to the gym on a semi-regular basis.

These photos are just me experimenting with Photoshop in a way I rarely do. I think I'm going to put the "garage" photos on hiatus for a bit on my Flickr...need to get reinspired!

Everything in my life, good and bad, has led up to this point. I still have my faults and I still have my insecurities, but I feel like I'm at a stage in my life where I can finally stop beating myself up for things I felt I did horribly wrong and that in itself is a huge load off of my mind.

Life...is better!

After looking at these pictures I'm thinking that the skirt seems like it might be a wee bit too long for me but I don't care because it has a pocket.

Dude I am hungry. This past weekend + Monday = stressful. There is old sounding music coming out of the conference room and I don't know why. I have to pee. I should go to the gym today.

Poor VV is snoring away. He occasionally lets out a whimper or a little groan in his sleep. He hasn't been feeling too well lately. Has a cough and a lot of congestion.

And lastly, I love my dad but he has got to be the loudest gum chewer ever and it drives me up the wall. The last time I rode with my parents on a trip from Norcal to Socal I had to turn up my iPod as high as I could without destroying my eardrums to drown out the sound of my dad chomping away at his gum. It was making me a little crazy.

Not sure if I'm done with my work, but medication is making me sleepy. Time for bed.

The more I look at this picture the more I hate it. Eww. Is anyone else loving how the lighting highlights the bags under my eyes? I'd Photoshop them out but it feels like cheating. Anyway, I didn't dry my hair, I didn't brush my hair, I didn't put on makeup...and I even forgot to put on moisturizer (oops) before leaving the house. I guess all this is true in the next photo...but all of that was cleverly concealed by good lighting and not being quite so close to the camera :P

I was planning on wearing something different today (see above) but when I was about to leave, realized that I had somehow lost the pin that serves as a closure for the sweater. I ran around frantically for a few minutes searching for it and finally gave up and put on the wrap hoodie instead. I later found the pin after leaving and coming back upon realizing I had forgotten my phone. It must have dropped on the floor while I was camwhoring since it's clearly visible in the first half of my pictures ;P

Just some photos I took yesterday that didn't make it onto the Flickr. My legs are painfully white. Am in dire need of some color.

Oh! And did you know that tissue boxes that are meant for places where janitorial services take care of replacing tissues when they start to run out have blue tissues at the bottom of the box to serve as an indicator that it needs to be replaced? VV told me this after I excitedly pointed out his blue tissues (I mean, no one else in the office had blue tissues) and seemed ever so slightly shocked that I didn't know that little factoid. It's okay. He didn't know what "birthday suit" meant until I told him not too long ago which I think is way worse than not knowing about blue tissues.

I must say, though, one of my favorite things to do now is to wander around the office barefoot while holding hands with VV.

I wasn't going to post any of last night's garage photos on here because yesterday's session was just crap. Things just weren't working. Just for fun I picked out a couple of the snaps and tried to see if I could salvage them. End result? MUCH better! In fact, I kind of love the black and white one now and wish I'd posted that on Flickr instead of the other odd one of me cowering in the corner of the photo.

It's so freaking amazing how much I've been posting now that I've taken my blog into semi-seclusion! It's easy to find me, sure, but no one knows that they should be looking for me (muahaha). There's actually a couple ways to find me now. One is through my blogger profile (that's how you found me isn't it Sar?) and the other is through my Wordpress page...that no one looks at. Haha.

My original blog hasn't been updated in over ten days. I think that's the longest it has gone without an update. I suspect that if it weren't for my Flickr and Twitter, some people might think I was dead.

I kind of want my eye-grazing fringe back. Maybe next haircut.

When I was 10 one of my favorite outfits was a short-sleeved, tunic-length, loose-knit white sweater (slightly sheer so I wore an undershirt with it) with black leggings and mid-calf, flat, slouchy boots. Oh, plus a mini black leather (pleather?) backpack. Doesn't that totally seem like something she would wear? That's rather sad...because that would mean I was infinitely more stylish as a fifth-grader than I am now.

Really don't want to take work home but I think I'm going to have to.

Korean: By curiosity, what were you guys...
VV (interrupting): Bi-curiosity?????

The above photo isn't too clear, but I blame Artweaver's poor algorithms (blame the software!) for resizing and its sketchy jpg compression. I heart Photoshop.

Have very little to say today. I'm sorta dying to go shopping (which I suppose is obvious after seeing my last post) but I'm on a shopping ban! The only shopping I'll be doing in the next month or so will either be for groceries or for other people (xmas I hate you).

Hello pseudo-artsy photo.

I also have about a billion items I'd like to have tailored. In reality...maybe one skirt, two jackets, two dresses?

I'm feeling really ridiculously tired right now.

We parted amicably when we agreed on a break, but it seemed that he wasn't quite as okay with the separation as he had said he was. He began to call me incessantly, insisting that we meet up, bringing me coffee, writing me letters. I kept telling him that I needed space but he continued to try to contact me. I was getting more and more frustrated and all of his attention was actually driving me away since I knew it was only because he was finally afraid that I'd really leave.

The actual breakup occurred after several heated discussions on what we were doing, emotional on his part, stoic on mine. After one particularly dramatic (and somewhat embarassing) confrontation outside of the computer science building (which made me miss class) he called me from a restaurant where he was having drinks with friends, telling me that there was no point in dragging out the break any longer than we had and that he just wanted to know, right then and there, whether I wanted to be with him or not. There was a brief silence, and then I said the words "I want to break up."

"Well, you win." he said tearfully into the phone.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"If you wanted to hurt me worse than I hurt you, well, you did it."

I was dumbfounded. Here we are, at the very end of the relationship, and he was still trying to drag me down.

He then choked out the words "I love you." and hung up before I could respond.

I put down the phone and walked over to my computer where I had been killing time by chatting with Steve on AIM before the phone call.

"We broke up" I typed to Steve.

"Are you okay?" he messaged back. I sat in my desk chair, head in my hands, waiting for the tears to come. They didn't. I was a bit unstrung, and his final words to me hurt, but I couldn't cry.

"I'm fine." I responded.

"Is anyone there?"

"I'm the only one here"

"You shouldn't be alone right now." Steve messaged.

"I'm really okay." And I was. I felt like I was finished with all of my crying, I was done with trying to get over him. I hurt so much during the relationship that I had to train myself not to care when he got upset with me (which was frequent) or put me down (which happened every now and then) which had translated into me detaching from the relationship entirely.

He was the first person I'd ever loved, the first person I'd ever become that infatuated with, and also the person who had hurt me the most. Even so, I really bear no ill will towards him, even now. I learned a lot in the relationship, and I think that if he gets all of his personal issues straightened out he'd be a great significant other. Sometimes I wonder what he's doing, how he's doing, but at the same time I have no idea what I'd do or say if I saw him.

When I think of those 2 and a half years worth of drama and stress, I feel incredibly lucky to have found someone like VV. I feel like I wouldn't appreciate VV for the wonderful person/boyfriend that he is if I hadn't gone through all of that.

I'm getting sleepy now. Am waiting for VV to come to bed. For now, here's a photo from Monday. I took down my hair when taking photos in the garage and it ended up having the perfect mussed-up waviness I covet. I felt it was a shame I had to ruin those waves with a ponytail before going to the gym so I took a picture to document the momentous occasion.

Ah, vanity.

As for me? I got up at 8:30. Heh.

It was our 2.5 year anniversary. We had gone out to dinner to "celebrate". Korean food in Garden Grove. I had clung to him outside the restaurant as we waited for a table, but it was more because of the January chill than it was a sign of affection.

"I don't know how long I'll be around if you don't." he said , giving me a withering sidelong glance as he walked across the room to put something away on his desk. At that I sat bolt upright. "And what's that supposed to mean?" I replied, infuriated.

What happened next was a very long argument about all the wrongs in our relationship that culminated in me telling him that I needed some space. "I need a break." I told him, drained. "I need some time to think without you influencing my decisions."

In the past few months we had become more distant. I was incredibly busy with school and was having a surprising amount of fun without him. I had just turned 21 and was starting to realize that maybe I really didn't need him the way I thought I had--the way he wanted me to feel that I needed him in order to function. That cold evening was just the proverbial straw that broke the relationship. And I really felt I needed a break.

The night ended at Alerto's with a calm discussion on the terms and conditions of the break. I told him I needed a month or so to figure things out. He agreed, and we parted relatively amicably.

The following Sunday I stopped by his house. I still owed him money for a few things and wanted to get it to him as soon as possible. He met me outside of his house. I gingerly made my way over the puddles of rainwater that had collected on the uneven asphalt and we came face to face by the garage of his neighbor's home. I handed over the money and he pocketed it.

We held each other in silence, standing under the eaves of his neighbor's house watching the light rain come down around us. There was nothing left to say, and there were no more tears to be cried, for me, at least. As I drove away that night, I felt a little bit sad, but I no longer felt that inextricable pull that I once did. It was truly the beginning of the very end.

These pictures have absolutely nothing to do with what I'm writing about. They're just self-portraits I have fun editing and posting, knowing that I have a very small audience critiquing them :) This last photo would be such a good fashion blog photo...if this was a fashion blog. Which it clearly isn't, haha.