In these photos I a) used my 60mm macro and b) am pretending to read a cruise info booklet. EXCITED.

VV and I went to the grocery store yesterday and I was reminded of yet another pet peeve: people who leave their shopping carts all over the place.

Now, sometimes I can kind of understand why someone would do it. Sometimes there are no cart returns and the store is mighty far. Yeah, the shopping carts hanging out in the middle of parking spaces are just as annoying as ever, but I can see why someone wouldn't want to go all the way back to the store to put their cart away. What I don't understand is why the hell someone would leave their cart at the foot of the parking spot when the cart return is one parking space away. WHAT THE HELL. The distance between the back and the front of the parking space was probably greater than the distance from the parking spot to the cart return yet for some godforsaken reason there were no less than FOUR shopping carts crammed into the end of the parking spot, free to roll around, ding cars, and irritate the FUCK out of people who are trying to park in that space. PEOPLE CAN BE SUCH INCONSIDERATE DUMBASSES SOMETIMES.

Oh and speaking of parking lot annoyances, Monday's xkcd made me laugh.

And here I present to you...my lovably long-haired goofball boyfriend, VV (Vietnamese Virginian for those of you who haven't been reading for very long). We took a couple walks around the neighborhood last week and I, being me, took my camera (and an assload of lenses) with me to shoot with.

I so love the first photo there on your left with the shadows and the colors and mmm yes. I only wish it'd turned out a bit crisper...I was using a manual focus lens and I just can't focus quickly enough :(

This last photo is just me trying to perfect the art of panning. This is seriously just one of billions of photos I took of VV walking back and forth. He started getting a bit goofy at the end.

VV: Did it come out?
me: Yeah I think this one sort of worked...you look kind of retarded, though.

Setup: remote control + kit lens + tripod + reading lamp clipped onto a large cardboard box.

Walking around in front of the camera instead of standing still like I usually do. I'm very creative.

And because I'm as random as I am creative, here's a major, major pet peeve.

Coming up short on a group tab @ a restaurant THIS DRIVES ME FUCKING NUTS LIKE YOU WOUDLN'T BELIEIVE. I always err on the generous side when out with a group of people when it comes to paying for my share of the bill and almost always end up putting in just a little more than I owe which is why it pisses me off when for some magical reason there isn't enough money to cover the tab. PISSES. ME. OFF. People, when you're putting in money please keep in mind that you should put in enough for not only your entree but your drinks, any appetizers/sides/etc that you've ordered/agreed to share, tax, and tip.

On a related note, it also annoys me when people leave lousy tips even when service was fine. I think it's even worse when people put in a lousy tip (or no tip!) when service was fine (or great even!) when they're out with a group and the remainder of the group ends up putting in more to make sure there's adequate tip.

This is why there are certain groups of people that I'm happy to go out to eat with (like my coworkers) and others that totally stress me out.

Btw, being a "poor college student" or whatever excuse these people think justifies imposing on others? So not an excuse. I've gone out to eat plenty of times as a college student with groups of friends (also college students) without having a problem with the bill.

Other annoyances:

- People who dock tip for something out of the waiter's control (i.e. food didn't taste good)
- People who bitch at servicepeople for things that are out of their control. I once saw some lady chew out some poor cashier because the computer monitor hooked up to the register didn't display her Albertson's club card savings at the end of the transaction because "she had complained so many times and no one has made the change" I mean wtf. Also, I once had some professor yell at me for at least 10 minutes over the phone because I told her that we couldn't deliver some film reel or something to her in time for her class (I used to work in the library during college) because the document delivery service (completely different department btw) had already finished doing their deliveries for the day and that they require everyone to give at least 24 hours notice, not 1. Which was apparently my fault.

Holy crap that was long. I don't know what got into me.

What are your pet peeves/major annoyances?

My favorite coat and a dress that kind of shrank to an indecent length (for work, anyway) in the wash. Seems quite a bit shorter than it did the last time I wore it. Also, a better picture of the "jailbird" necklace combo. Sorry for the facelessness of the photos. Allergies had made my entire eye area red, irritated and puffy. And watery. Etc.

Contemplating moving my blog back to where it should be (evilmidori.com). It's been a few months and I think it may be time.

When I'm taking photos in a sort of public place (i.e. where someone besides VV can see me) my biggest fear is having someone actually ask me what I'm doing. Actually that kind of already happened once but thankfully I was behind the camera at the time so it was easy to think up some lie that would not make him think I was a total narcissist who probably uses prints of her self-portraits to wallpaper her house. Which I totally couldn't do anyway because I rent. But we're getting off-topic here.

I NEED TO BECOME E-FAMOUS. I need to have a wildly popular blog so maybe I'll have some internet street cred (I was going to say blog cred but it sounded sort of uncool. For some reason.) so I could explain that I'm totally not just taking these photos for me, I'm taking them to appease my large and devoted readership! (And yes, that would totally make me feel better. Don't judge me.)

But the best thing is, I don't actually need to become e-famous...I need to look e-famous! And because this is the internet WE CAN TOTALLY MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

Okay what I'm really saying is that I need all you regular readers (all 3.5 of you) to assume 5-10 different identities (more if you're feeling ambitious) and comment regularly on all my posts. If we can get enough "commenters" maybe we can throw a hater or two in the mix as well, because as we all know, you haven't made it big until you have a hater!

So what are you waiting for? GET TO IT!

(okay okay I don't really expect this plan to work but if it does this post is totally getting deleted because i can't have people who think i'm actually popular reading this!)

As I was about the head out the door Sunday morning (yes, morning of the car accident) VV gave me a hug and said "You're my jailbird!". I thought he was referencing my necklaces...I happened to be wearing my blackbird necklace and handcuff lariat (only partially visible in photo) that day. I was delighted by the connection and adoringly asked him why he was so clever. VV was confused.

When we got home that evening I took off all my jewelry and was hanging out in the t-shirt dress and VV called me a jailbird again. I suddenly realized that he had been referencing the stripes on my dress, not my jewelry.

Which means that in retrospect, this outfit was kind of overly theme-y costume-y. Gross.

Sorry about the crap photos, did not have my tripod or remote handy.

So now...makeup. Part 2. (Screw transitions)

They are kind of ridiculously expensive, though. Must think about this...

To your left, brushes/tools. To your right, lip liner that I'm ambivalent about using. Bad memories of bad 90s chola makeup flooding my head.

Okay that was long. Haven't been in much of a blogging mood lately. Bleh.

VV found that lifesaver in the candy dish. He gave me the small piece. I don't like watermelon-flavored candy. I think it was watermelon...?

In my fantasy I have a girlfriend who is totally hot, totally well-dressed and totally not camera-shy. And I'd totally use her as a photo subject. And you would totally love it because then this blog would be full of photos of her and her hotness instead of me and my hotness awkwardness.

(I'm such a deviant!)

Sooo yeah anyway I attempted to take a few photos semi-outdoors the other day. Daylight savings is awesome because OMG DAYLIGHT! Anyway, there ended up being waaay too many people out and about around this time of day including the woman next door who, unfortunately for me, came home not too long after I started taking pictures and then decided to hang out in her garage (which is right next to VV's garage agh) to talk on her phone after parking her car. Unnerving. Plus there was some guy further down who was playing with his kid outside and a bunch of people putting their trash out (next day was trash day) which was kind of not awesome. I fiddled around with my phone whilst taking the photos to try and remedy some of the awkwardness of the situation but yeah. I was quite unhappy. And I really need some female friends out here that would absolutely love to have their picture taken.

Isn't it weird and awesome how awkward is such an awkward word?

Can you say "awkward is an awkward word" ten times fast? With a mouthful of saltines?

So yes, I got a ton of stuff from VV's mom after the makeup lesson. As I'd said before, we started off with a basic skincare routine that involved probably more different products for my face than I generally use for my entire body. She gave me little samples of all the products and kindly labeled the all the boxes with a black sharpie with things like "DAY", "NIGHT", "EYE, etc. Note to self: buy cottonballs. I tried applying toner with a piece of tissue and the stupid tissue soaked everything up.

She had gotten me concealer but it ended up being a shade too light so she gave me hers to try. She also gave me her cream-to-powder compact to experiment with since I told her I'm not really a huge fan of foundation.

This foundation is freaking amazing. She told me this was their "heavy" foundation and that I might not like it since I had said I didn't like foundation, but the texture of this was incredible. It gave good coverage without looking unnatural and felt even lighter than the bareMinerals powder foundation I bought last year (and have hardly used). A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

In other news VV bought Gummy Vites at Costco AND LEFT THEM ON MY DESK AGAIN FREAKING-AAAAAAAA this does not bode well for my kidneys.

Did I ever tell y'alls that when I was little a toddler I ate like half a bottle of Flintstone's vitamins? Well, I did. Some things never change.

Happy St. Patty's day! Pretty unhappy with yesterday's photos. I was in a rush.

So I hate making appointments for haircuts. Last time I got my hair cut I just dropped in some random place at the mall. The girl who cut my hair then was super sweet and did a good job so on Sunday I went back. I was going to request her but she was with another client at the time so I just got my hair cut by the stylist that was free. Aghhh MISTAKE. She yanked superhard on a tangle more than once (ahhh), kept burning my scalp with the hair dryer, hit my head with the hair dryer nozzle 2-3 times, and kind of screwed up my bangs. Plus she styled my hair kind of weird. She put some sort of smoothing serum in my hair which I totally don't need (my hair is good at playing dead) and totally doesn't make sense since I told her at the beginning that I like lots of volume/texture. And she curled my bangs all wonky. GAH. I did like the layers she created with the rest of my hair though...

VV's brother and the girl he's dating are staying in VV's second bedroom for the week. Which means that access to the other half of my clothes is restricted to when they aren't there (I basically took over that particular closet since all my crap doesn't fit in the space VV made for me in the master bedroom) and self-portraits might be a little spotty since...eh. I don't like doing sp's w/ people that are not VV around.

So as I said before, VV's mom gave me a makeup lesson complete with tons of free goodies for me to take home. VV snuck into the bathroom (okay not really but he came in uninvited) and rummaged around my purse for my camera so he could take pictures of the work in progress (UNINVITED). Unfortunately he does not know how to use my camera and does not know how to change lenses so he took all of these with my macro which I personally think is awesome for portrait photography but he ended up getting waaay too close for comfort. I actually really like the first photo, though. He has a good eye for photos but just isn't quite as into it as I am.

Like my hair? VV's mom put that clip there when I was washing my face.

Anyway, she went through a skincare routine and supplied me with sample sizes of all sorts of face product and then went through makeup, from foundation (which I normally hate but this was some GOOD STUFF photos coming later) to eye makeup (my favorite!). I told her I was going to have her do all my makeup on the cruise which I was only half kidding about cause damn there are going to be two formal nights and who doesn't want a pro doing their makeup for a formal?

Don't have too many photos of the aftermath. VV took photos with my dslr right afterward, but they came out dark and AGAIN he came way too close to my face. He took these later with my point and shoot (which he's very familiar with since he has the same camera) after we got home. I was full of noodles and broth and grapefruit and was not in the mood to take photos (I just wanted to sleep off the food coma) so I'm afraid this "after" pic will have to do!

Oh, she totally cleaned up my eyebrows for me too. I'd never had anyone else pluck my eyebrows for me before. Ouch. Nothing compared to a bikini wax, though.

^beauty loot! Normally I'd be angry at the mere existence of something as positively useless as this ("What's this?" I asked VV's mom "It's a gimmick; just a little foo-foo thing...nobody knows what it's for." VV's mom rolled her eyes at the ridiculous little implement as I removed it from its plastic packaging) but it's so soft and fun to touch (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID) that I can't be angry with it for long. And I guess now I have something to brush eyeshadow fallout off my cheeks (which is apparently all they use it for yeah WHAT?!)

Got a mean beauty haul. I think the total retail price of it was probably more than my college tuition. Will post photos of it when I get around to photographing it....

That skirt is the same one I was wearing in this godawful photo that I took a week ago. I think I styled it better this time around. I haven't worn that coat (sort of shown in this post) in months and I almost sort of forgot I had it. Oops? Oh holy crap...I just took a good look at the post I just linked and realized that I'm wearing it with a gray skirt, a black short-sleeved top, and those black peep-toe pumps. I suck.

I NEED A HAIRCUT. I'm tired of this one. If that last photo was any larger you could totally see up my nose.

Not feeling especially witty or wordy right now. Going to VV's parents' house to get a makeup lesson from his momma which she has been wanting to do since forever which I guess means she either hates my makeup or that she really wishes she had a daughter. Probably both. A little bird (aka VV) told me that I'd be getting some free goodies out of it, though (actually what he told me was "my mom has some beauty stuff for you but she said you have to go over there to get it" and I was like HOLY CRAP SHE'S TRYING TO LURE ME IN WITH FREE MAKEUP AS BAIT AND HOLY CRAP IT'S WORKING), and she is a professional who always has perfectly blended eyeshadow so methinks she can teach me a thing or two. Updates tomorrow?

Not much to say today. Used "auto color" in Photoshop to see what would happen and it made everything sort of awesomely gray. Am going to try it again w/ photos I take tonight.

So my real reason for posting all of that nastiness yesterday was so that my subsequent posts with all of my self-portraits will look AWESOME in comparison!

I'm so smart.

(dude I'm KIDDING okay)

The morning glory photo seriously has nothing to do with anything. I just wanted to post something pretty and flower pictures are pretty freaking easy to make pretty (says the person who took 20 photos only to come out with 3-4 decent ones) so I used one that I took Sunday afternoon. Random. The self-portrait is from this morning. I realize the pose totally emphasizes my gut and it looks like I'm giving bitchface to the camera and I kind of don't like how I turned out in general (the camera was positioned way below eye level...I was perched somewhat precariously on the edge of the bathtub in order to get the desired lighting) but the picture itself came out kind of badass. Both were shot w/ natural light and there is no post-processing on either of them except resizing/additon of text.

I think I took the first one with my 50mm f/1.8 prime (cheap lens that I love love love even though it doesn't autofocus on my camera) and the second was with my kit lens (18-55mm f/3.5-5.6). I wanted warmer tones so I set the white balance to "cloudy".

Soooo for those of you who actually don't really care about pictures and just care about me (HA)...

- My dad is leaving for Japan tomorrow and will be back on the 23rd.
- My brother got into Stanford's graduate program forrrr I forget what. I always forget about 5 minutes after he tells me what the program is called. It's a one year program that has to do with learning/education and technology and whatever I FORGET but I'm still super proud of him!
- Vegas next month!
- Europe in two months!
- Japan in five months?

I'm actually kind of freaking out about the length of the flights overseas. I've never flown that far before (heh don't I sound provincial) and I have a tendency to get anxious if I feel confined for too long. I've been okay for 5/6 hour flights, though, so chances are I'm freaking out for nothing. I may want to bring a sleep aid just in case though...?

Okay EW. I used to think that letting your ass hang out of your shorts was one of the skankiest, tackiest things you could do fashion-wise (I personally think that's worse than a whale-tail but it's all a matter of opinion yes?) but this chick totally outdid herself by letting her ass hang out of her dress top (dude there is NO WAY that was meant to be a dress) and the worst thing is I snapped this photo right after she pulled down the hem. WHAAAAT.

Oh, and did you notice that there's a chick to the left that's barefoot? I didn't even see it until I viewed the photo on my computer.

Anyway, the crowd at Highlands has gotten ghetto-er and the DJ was kind of not so great (did play a lot of songs I liked so it was okay) but it's all good, haha. I don't really care much about the crowd as long as there are no fights or anything. Besides, Highlands still has some of the kickass-est go go dancers (I LOVE GO GO DANCERS!) everrr.

Sorry about the random eye-killing post. Will do a real post later.

Oh, and the dude in the photo below? AWESOME.

Forreals though...REAL POST COMING SOON.

I liked the above photo because my lips came out all pretty and glossy looking. Of course after resizing you can't even tell. Oh well. My little secret (that I just told everybody...and is not even really a secret).

Anyway. Directional lighting is a lot of fun. Here I'm using a reading lamp that clips onto stuff. I'm so high-tech.

Photo on the left is cool except I think it makes my legs look really, really fat and photo on the right made me giggle just a little bit because it looks like I'm either a) getting ready to save the world or b) about to flash someone (probably b). I think I was trying to take a powerful stance in front of the reading lamp (to show it who's boss?) but attempting a powerful stance when you're under 5' and have the muscle tone of a garden snail just makes you look slightly ridiculous.

And please don't wiki garden snails so you can come back and tell me that garden snails are actually 300% MUSCLE AND CAN LIFT 1,038 TIMES THEIR WEIGHT! because it's been a long week and the last thing I need is someone telling me that a garden snail could totally own me in a fistfight EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE NO FISTS.

Ugh. What was I saying?

I got my new shoes in the mail a couple days ago and I love them. They're a little less nude than I'd hoped but really for a shoe to appear "nude" on me it would probably have to be white. And glow in the dark.

The bag (that I got a while ago which would make this the "something old" hot damn I'm clever) I love because of its size, shape, color, design, and delightfully unbranded exterior. I hate it because it was not canvas as the name suggested it would be (you'd think something called a Canvas Frame Bag would be made of canvas but that's just me), one corner of the bag came loose from the frame after a few uses (easily remedied with superglue but DAMN) and the clasp tends to come undone when I'm packing a dslr and 4 lenses which I suppose isn't normal but if it's spacious enough to hold it shouldn't the closure be strong enough to withstand it?

It's okay Canvas Poplin Frame Bag, I still love you.

So yeah I've been feeling really crappy and stressed and inexplicably exhausted for the past week or two which of course means that my picture-taking has been sparse and sub-par for the most part. I got some okay shots yesterday, though. Photo #1 up there was totally overexposed and the white balanced was a bit screwy, but it was salvageable. Photo #2 was too dark and my feet got cut off, but it was sort of okay anyway. Also, I was wearing no makeup and my eyes were all allergy-ridden so most of my photos were faceless. You're welcome.

Holy hell I'm pasty.

Yesterday I saw who I think is a friend of an ex-boyfriend at the gym. It's the second time I've seen him there and I'm just weirdly terrified that someday that ex will come to the gym with him and I'll see him and this is all very farfetched but still both times I saw this particular friend (and I'm not even sure if it's him...and if it is he's actually a really sweet guy) my heart just totally stops and drops down into my stomach and it actually kind of physically hurts when that happens because I'm doing some pretty mean cardio at the same time.

I don't know why the idea of seeing him is so terrifying. I also don't know why seeing his friends is so terrifying or why even talking about the relationship upsets me so much (either makes me furious or brings me to tears). I feel guilty, angry and ashamed that the whole relationship still affects me so much even though it's been over four years since it ended. It makes me feel like I'm psychotic and I really hate it when I feel bad for feeling a certain way because it either means I'm stupid for feeling a certain way or I'm stupid for feeling bad and it's all very lose-lose and why the hell did I stay with him for so long anyway.

AHHH

VV: Matthew McConaughey (dude I totally had to look up the spelling for that one) is totally awesome. He rides with that biker dude!
me: Biker dude?
VV: You know, that biker dude! He lost one of his balls!
me: You mean Lance Armstrong? When you say "biker dude" it makes me think of someone who rides a motorcylce.
VV: He looks like a motorcycle!
me: What?

In the office

So the Counselor was talking about how Japanese people have all these little weird contraptions and make crazy things out of paper and how they were just weird and crazy in general.

me: The Counselor's making fun of me.
VV: You make square watermelons!

Okay so maybe you had to be there.

But seriously, picture post coming soon. I've been super wiped-out lately for some unknown reason which is weird because I've been getting the recommended amount of sleep on a pretty regular basis (I'm getting old) which used to be kind of unheard of for me. Maybe it's stress. Anyway. Have a happy hump day!

Except I just blogged about it so I guess it doesn't really matter.

I've chewed about five pieces of gum in the past 45 minutes. I am a monster.

I really need to go to the gym today.

So it was the end of the day and my hair basically looked kind of exploded and my face is shiny and oily (which I actually prefer to dry and flaky which is what my skin usually is) and yes that is a stack of "Choose Your Own Adventure" books behind me in photo number one. The band on that shirt is oddly slimming and the cutouts in the back (which you can't see of course) make it breezy. I'm thinking this will be getting a lot of wear in the summer. And I know asians supposedly shouldn't wear yellow but I've decided that I don't care.

Going out to dinner tonight for my mom's birthday.

Must remember to get french press from my apartment.